Racist Things Your Fellow Muslims Say to Each Other

   

     *Cringe*

     Oh, this is awkward...

     We're one big beautiful homogeneous ummah aren't we? Perhaps the word racism is much too strong. No Muslim is racist, right? We just have some dislikes for things is all.

     Sure, I mean you can choose to believe that being a Muslim is your one way ticket to Utopia whereby everyone is looked upon equally for their character before their race. But you mustn't deny that forming that rosy image in your mind is silence and complicity. Nothing is ever stationary, things are constantly happening around us. 

    Your silence is oppression.

     So, why do we deny racism in the Muslim community? 

     Perhaps it's because we wish to maintain the colonial mentality where only white folk can truly be racist against Muslims and the idea of shedding light on racism in Islam disperses us and makes us look weaker as an ummah. Or maybe we don't want to evaluate our racism in everyday life and put people we love in a negative light. Racist people in the past were labelled as Nazis among other things and no one wants to be grouped into that category. Or perhaps we're afraid of critical self-evaluation where our faults are exposed to the world and open to monopolization by mainstream forces and other Muslims around us. Or God forbid, the worst case scenario; we assume that our discrimination comes about as a natural product of one's race and has nothing to do with our perception.

     But lack of confrontation of a problem does not mean it doesn't exist.

    Our strength as an ummah should not lie with our ability to overlook certain aspects of our lifestyles and to "focus on the positive" but it should lie with our willingness to detect problems and choose to label them as such. Once we label an issue, we must take concrete steps to find ways to raise awareness and diminish the problem.

     I am going to make this image super clear in the next few minutes while you're reading. It's going to hurt and it might make you sad. But I'm sure it will hit home. This list is real.


Here are some racist things your fellow Muslims have said:


1. "We don't marry outside our sect"

2. "I don't hate brown people. They just annoy me"

3. "Brown people are wanna-be-Arabs"

4. "That's not our mosque"

5. "You're so whitewashed"

6. "She's pretty for a black girl"

7. "I feel like pissing off my parents and marrying a brown guy"

8. "I went to their house, and they were like the civilized type of Pakis, they don't smell or anything."

9. "Hes so religious, he would even marry a black girl and not care"

10. "Your husband must have really cultured you"

11. "For an Arab girl, you really aren't like the usual racist Arabs."

12. "I'm so tanned, I'm gonna get mistaken for Somali"

13. "I hate when people guess I'm from Pakistan."

14. "Abeed (slave)" "urdud ( monkeys)"

15. "Couldn't we get an Arab to teach them the Quran"

16. "Arab guys are so controlling and close minded. Hello white converts..."

17. "Somalian people have too many children"

18. [at Juma] "why doesn't he talk Arabic. We're all Arab here anyway"

19. "Obviously the MSA is being run by Arab for Arab"

20. "Not that I'm racist, but..."

21. "Brown people are too religious"

22. "You don't even act black, you're so well spoken" 

23. "Mashallah our shiekh is Saudi, this is gonna be a good Ramadan"

24. "Why don't you read Quran? Even Brown people read more than you"

25. "Why have a Pakistani imam when there are Arab brothers available?"

25. "Arab girls are party girls"

26. "All that Arabs do is belly dance and smoke shisha"

    Oh, you didn't think any of these statements were racist? Let us revise the definition of racism shall we?

Racism: a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural 

or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to

 rule others. (source)

I wrote previously about arrogance:

"Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “No one who has the weight of a mustard seed of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.” Someone said, “Indeed, a man loves to have beautiful clothes and shoes.” So the Prophet said, “Verily, Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.”

   A mustard seed?! That could be one look down on your mother, or a child, or a homeless person or a disabled individual. It would be a shame to come so close to the doors of heaven only to have them shut in front of you because you believed once that you were better than anyone else. Keep in mind that arrogance does not pertain to one's dress. Although the prophet (peace be upon him) used to be indistinguishable from the companions that even foreigners had a hard time locating him. 

But, how do we become nonjudgmental and more modest? 

   During the prophet's (peace be upon him) time, there was one man who used to appear drunk to the public in the daytime and the companions at one point wanted to issue him a punishment. The prophet (peace be upon him) addressed them and said "Do not curse him, for I swear by Allah, if you only knew just how very much indeed he loves Allah and His Messenger." 

He then added:

"Do not help Satan against your brother."(Al-Bukhari)

  Let us realize that Allah's mercy is vast and never ending. Only He has the power to conceal our faults and forgive us on the day of judgement. Some of us who judge others for sinning have put themselves at a high status, thinking that they are fairer than Allah (subhanahu wa ta'laa). When we judge, we judge others for their exposed sins while we ourselves have hidden sins that would shame us if they were to ever be exposed to the world. Always thank Allah for his mercy on us and always have mercy on others. Leave the judging to Him." (source)

“O mankind, We have created you all from a single (pair of a) male and female and made you nations and tribes so that you get to know one another; verily, the noblest of you in the sight of God is the one who is most mindful of Him. God is All-Knowing, All-Aware.” Quran: 49:13

The prophet, peace be upon him's last sermon addressed racism:

“O mankind, there is no superiority for an Arab man/woman over a non-Arab man/woman, or for a non-Arab man/woman over an Arab man/woman, or for white man/woman over a black man/woman, or for a black man/woman over a white man/woman. All of you are descended from Adam and Adam has been created from dust of the ground.”

I can't find concluding words better than the words of Allah and the prophet (pbuh). We've still got a long way to go before I can conclude on racism.

Born Again into My Islam

     Another dear sister writes a reflection:


    Bismillahir-Rahmaanir-Raheem


     Since Ramadan is around the corner, I thought I should share my journey of finding the true peace and tranquility within myself. Alhamdulillah, by the mercy of Allaah, I was born a Muslim and had a Muslim upbringing. As I was growing up, I thought simply wearing the hijab and having a Muslim name, as well as praying five times a day would pretty much sum up a true character of  a righteous Muslimah. Little did I know how ignorant I was. Subhanallah. I didn’t know the purpose behind the hijab, why I prayed, what the verses I recited in my prayer meant and, to be quite honest, I had no clue what the word “khushuu” meant. I knew Allah was my Lord, that Islam was my religion, and that Muhammad (may peace be upon him) was my Prophet and beloved Messenger. Although I knew these things, I felt like I really didn’t know them, if that makes any sense. I knew Allah was self-existent and I knew that He was my Lord but you know what I lacked? The beautiful word we find in the Quran in numerous chapters: Taqwa. I didn’t understand this word and this was my struggle. The word Taqwa within itself is an amazing word. Oh, how I regret not being able to have attained the knowledge of this word before. I struggled everyday trying to find inner peace. Every time I prayed I felt like it was a simple routine, and every single word of remembrance that I uttered felt as if I simply offering lip service to Allaah. It simply became a habit in my life. You know they say it takes 21 days to build a habit and this is exactly how I felt. 

     So what does taqwa mean? Taqwa is having a sense of consciousness of Allah, knowing that He is always present. Even though we do not see Allah swt, having Taqwa in our hearts means that we act as though we see Allaah in every moment of our lives. Taqwa is when you are doing dhikr after every salah and every time you say Subhanallah, it touches your heart and it increases and affirms your belief. Taqwa is when you say Alhamdulillah and you are truly grateful for what you have and for everything you have experienced (good or bad). It is when you truly understand that your Rabb is worth praising. Taqwa is when you utter Allahu AKBAR and have tears gushing down your face because you know and feel in your heart that your Rabb is truly the greatest. Taqwa is when you pray as if it’s your last. It is when you are alone and scared and have full trust that Allaah is your only Wali (protector).  

    Another important aspect of Taqwa is Tawakkul. The simple definition of Tawakkul is trust. It is the utmost reliance that a person has on Allah. Knowing that Allah is the One who will provide that true sense of reassurance. I’ve struggled in the past and continue to strive every day to attain this Tawakkul. For example, in the past, I’ve found myself relying on doctors and my medication when fell ill instead of remembering that Allaah is the only one who can remove my sickness. Or, even worse, when a really close friend of mine experienced a coma, I felt like it was up to the doctors to save her life. And when these doctors came out of the excruciatingly long and life-threatening surgery with smiles on their faces expressing how successful it went, it made me extremely confident that my friend would be okay. A day later, however, I lost complete certainty, as the doctors approached me with frowns on their faces. A day after my friend passed away, I cried and I cried and I cried because I forgot that Allah was the only one who had the power to grant my friend ultimate shifa (cure) and not these doctors. Allah only utilizes us as means to help one another, but ultimately, He is the one who makes all final decisions. It Is Allah who takes our lives and it is He who we will return to in the end.  Seeing my friend laying on top of her hospital bed lifeless, motionless, still as a rock, really made me reflect on where I stand as a person. 

    It is sad to see that we as people have become so attached to this dunya that we trust this dunya more then we trust the One who created it. We expect ultimate love, care, mercy, compassion, and peace from this world, from our friends, from our spouses, and from our families, so much so, that we have lost complete touch with ourselves. I have lost touch with myself. I have become so dependent upon my friend to comfort me when I’m gloomy. Or when I’m scared, my father would be the first person I think of. Really It honestly has become this bad. Not just with me, but with all of us. We have lost ourselves to this dunya. Who knows if we will even live for the 20 years, or even the next minute. Subhanallah, I  have seen what destruction I have caused myself by relying on this worldly life, but Alhamdulillah I have witnessed a huge transformation in my life when I finally strived to attain Tawakkul of Allaah. I want to be able to trust my Lord when I’m alone, and even when I’m not alone, when I’m sad or happy, when I’m angry, frustrated, scared, or overwhelmed. I want to be able to Trust my Rabb. How I now only seek your reassurance, oh Allaah. Please grant us the opportunity in attaining a level of Tawaqul which we’ve never had, yaa Rabb. Ameen.

     I remember last Ramadan, I prayed Qiyam-ul-Layl  for the very first time. I am a person who does not  understand the beautiful words of the Quran, but, subhanAllaah, I as I stood in prayer seeking reassurance, calmness, and  tranquility. Allaah’s beautiful words, whose meaning I didn’t understand hit me hard.  I had no idea what these verses meant but I knew these words were words of peace, and so I cried. I cried, and I cried, and I cried. Tears began dripping down my face. I asked myself what caused these emotions to surface and I finally realized that the only one that I needed when I was alone and suffering was You, my Rabb. You are my Shifa. You are my Guidance. You are my Mercy. You have given me the tranquility I was desperately searching for. You were always there when I needed you. I just needed to find you and, Alhamdulillah, I have. If there was anyone who has brought out the best in me, it was You. If there was anyone who gave me that strength when I felt like I had none left in me, it was You. If there was anyone who helped me smile even when the world frowned at me, it was and IS always You, my Lord <3.

Just Face it, You're Alone in this World

     You are born alone. You live alone. And you die alone.

     What does it mean to be lonely? Is the company of others the only variable in assuring one has a happy and hospitable life? Or does loneliness stem from our empty hearts?

     You’re thinking right now of all the amazing people in your life. This is definitely not a post that appeals to you, right?

     When Allah subhanahu wa ta’laa made Adam, he gave him the companion Hawa (peace be upon them). Cause he made it our nature to prefer being in the presence of others.  The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) himself was given Abu bakr Alsideeq. Love for the sake of Allah gives life more meaning and even the most pious of us need a friend.

     But why do people so often fall short of our expectations? Why do the closest people to us fail to satisfy our needs? Why do they have a hard time understanding us? Often, even those who we see on an almost consistent basis forget who we are and judge us wrongly. Some people marry with the expectation that their partner will fill that void and end up emptier than they started. The first problem lies in the perception of these questions. No one is obligated to provide for you and no one will read your mind. No one can grasp all of the dimensions that make you who you are. No one can fully envision the extent of the hardships that have been inflicted upon you and how much you struggle on a daily basis to stay strong. Not even from years of companionship could you possibly establish this type of connection with someone. Which is why we are alone in this dunya and from this loneliness should stem our love for Allah.

     Allah subhanahu wa ta’laa can be reached at any time in our life and even the mere remembrance of Him can lighten up our hearts. He knows all those details the rest don’t care about. How does one establish that special connection with Allah subhanahu wa ta’laa? It’s quite simple actually. Think about how you establish a connection with people. We establish a connection with others when we share a vulnerable aspect of ourselves that we don’t expose so easily to the world. The more private the connection is, the stronger we feel tied to the individual and the more we trust in them. Now try this. Speak to Allah subhanahu wa ta’laa as a friend. Think of Him as someone who is following you with every step you make. Every thought. Every hardship and struggle. And every time you smile on the inside, you share this with Him. Talk to Him as though he lives in your head and heart and tell Him things you wouldn't tell a soul. Keep a few secrets between each other. And I don’t mean the bad ones, because those types of secrets are easy to hide from the world. But share with Him an aspect of your life that you would normally tell someone else. Now you've established trust.

     At this point, you have freed your soul from the flock.

"And remember your Rubb by your tongue and within yourself, humbly and with fear and without loudness in words, in the mornings and in the afternoons, and be not of those who are neglectful.'' (The Holy Quran 7:205)

     Now you will feel so comfortable being alone. So much so you may be able to go for a walk to a park, sit on the grass and smile to yourself. Because you've finally come to realize that you don’t live this world alone as you have thought. I promise you, only Allah knows if my promise is to be fulfilled, but you will see everything clearly and Allah will help you through every hardship and he will make you sensitive to things that did not provoke any happiness in you before. One day, we will all die. We will die and be brought up to Him bare with only our good deeds to save us. It’s time to think about this before it’s too late. We are born bare and we die bare. 

We must now live bare too.

     "I am as My servant expects Me to be. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me a hand’s span, I draw near to him an arm’s length; and if he draws near to me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running." (Hadith Qudsi, Al-Bukhari)

10 Signs You Love Someone for the Sake of Allah

    

     We tend to speak so much of the bad folk. “People are selfish” .“People are arrogant”. “People are fake”. It has come to a point where in an attempt to address issues or counter this negativity, we caused even more negativity as a result. That person who complains about everything can cloud upon himself a gray fog of negative energy wherever he goes. Sometimes even in the best of our intentions we become engulfed in this cycle of complaint about all the wrong in the world we completely blind ourselves from all that is beautiful.

There are good people out there my friend.

"There are some people who enter your life like gems. These are the real diamonds. They have no ulterior motives, no inferiority complex, no superiority complex, no need to prove that they are better than you, or seek to have more than you. They don’t feel entitled and aren’t needy or dependent. They are not superficial or fake. They remind you of God and they understand you, when no other person does. They don’t wear a mask with you or pretend to be perfect. They are just real with you and honestly and sincerely only want good for you. You feel you can tell them anything without worrying that they will judge you or put you down for being imperfect. They know your flaws, but love you anyway. And they are loyal. You know they’ll be there for you. They'll always have your back. And best of all, time and distance doesn’t change this. If you’ve met even one person in your entire life like this, you’re blessed." -Yasmin Mogahed

    What does it mean to love someone for the sake of Allah? How do you know if you've met a person who has established this type of relationship with you and how do you know if you love them the same way too?

   For Allah’s sake basically means only for Him and not for the sake of anyone or anything else; meaning a friendship based on worship and devotion to Allah first and foremost. I don’t believe this would be a less committed form of traditional friendship but one that comes with more sacrifice and trust and holds up over time. It can be envisioned as a sentiment so strong that a Muslim will want to drag his beloved brother/sister with himself to heaven. It is a relationship that you take with you to the grave and beyond. One that you flaunt the day of judgement in front of the Almighty Allah subhanahu w ta’laa. It is important that our friendships never lose sight of this ultimate relationship with the Creator. Every effort to please this individual, to bring them closer to Allah or to ease their difficulty is considered charity for the sake of Allah. And let’s not forget, for your sake too. We’re all trying to save ourselves from hell fire aren't we?

    Mu`adh (bin Jabal) (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "Allah, the Exalted, has said: `For those who love one another for the sake of My Glory, there will be seats of light (on the Day of Resurrection), and they will be envied by the Prophets and martyrs" [At-Tirmidhi].

    Should it matter whether the person you have established this relationship with views you in the same way? I found from my personal experience that it helps. But I don’t think it is necessary. If we employed this way of thinking, then we would certainly become so encased within our own circles that there would be no room for compassion and empathy to others who may require the guidance the most. Ultimately, you should never think of it as aiding your brother/sister. Your actions are directed towards Allah subhanahu w ta’laa and in no expectations of return of the favor from the other.

    Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "There are three qualities whoever has them, will taste the sweetness of Iman: To love Allah and His Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) more than anyone else; to love a slave (of Allah) only for (the sake of) Allah; and to abhor returning to infidelity after Allah has saved him from it as he would abhor to be thrown into the fire (of Hell)" [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

    So I complied a list of 10 signs to aid us into understanding what it means to love someone for the sake of Allah. It is based on my observations really. Nothing etched in stone. I’d love to hear your input.

Here are some signs that you love someone for Allah's sake:

1. You are not upset if there is a lack of commitment:

    Friendships based on love for Allah are nourished and grown by a divine source. When we see the connection between our brothers and sisters in Islam as one that is tied by our greater connection with Allah, we are not upset by anyone's shortcomings. If your friend cannot call you everyday to check up on you or does not return favors, your love in the sake of Allah should keep you grounded and satisfied. Since Allah brought this person to you, He can also take him away at any time. At the end of the day, you are looking to satisfy a higher being than your friend, so as long as you've paid your due for Allah's sake you shouldn't worry about lack of commitment. How do you know? Well, ask yourself how often you ask this person why they haven't called/texted/met you. If you do it often, perhaps you've clung onto the person rather than the relationship with Allah.

     2. You are a constant reminder of Allah to them and they are a constant reminder of Allah to you:

   In worship and speech, you both tend to remember Allah. This doesn't have to mean full on khatiras and khutbas when you see one another. It can be a simple reflection of recent events for example. Or a brief dua. You will also find yourself gently pushing this friend to do good for Allah. Pushing them to pray with you or advising them can build on your relationship together. It is important to give advice in a gentle manner; in private and in a non patronizing way.You never want to make it seem like you're bragging about your deen. No one likes that. In contrast, a friend who supports you even in times where you know you have wronged yourself in the face of your Lord is a friend that doesn't have your back anyway. At least not in the way that they should. These types of friendships seems to be so temporary for some reason. 

  

    Mu`adh (bin Jabal) (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) held my hand and said, "O Mu`adh, By Allah, I love you and advise you not to miss supplicating after every Salat (prayer) saying: `Allahumma a`inni `ala dhikrika wa shukrika, wa husni `ibadatika,' (O Allah, help me remember You, expressing gratitude to You and worship You in the best manner)".
[Abu Dawud and An-Nasa'i].

3. You have no expectations from them:

         When you love someone for His sake, you don't need them to return your favors or reciprocate. Your reward lies solely with Allah (subhanahu wa ta'laa) and you know this and don't expect anything from people in general. A friend who knows this about you will not thank you excessively and does not feel the need to return gifts or gestures. But sometimes it happens, especially if the other person also loves you the same way. There's no shame in accepting gifts.

         A’ishah said: “The Messenger of God (pbuh) would accept gifts, and reward generously on account of that.” (Bukhari #2445)

    Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "A man set out to visit a brother (in Faith) in another town and Allah sent an angel on his way. When the man met the angel, the latter asked him, "Where do you intend to go?'' He said, "I intend to visit my brother in this town". The angel said, "Have you done any favour to him?'' He said, "No, I have no desire except to visit him because I love him for the sake of Allah, the Exalted, and Glorious.'' Thereupon the angel said, "I am a messenger to you from Allah (to inform you) that Allah loves you as you love him (for His sake)" [Muslim].

4. You are happy when you see them happy:

   

         Unfortunately, with growing individualism in our society  it has become quite rare for people to be truly happy for others without this happiness somehow linking back to themselves. Let's face it, often we cannot even maintain a conversation with someone and listen to them talk about their problems without talking about our lives and experiences. If you love someone for the sake of Allah, you are happy when you see them satisfied in the blessings of Allah. Even when these blessings have not been brought upon you. You continuously make dua for their sake in private. When you make a dua for your brother/sister in Islam, you get the reward for this dua and it also applies to yourself. We must be satisfied with Allah's wisdom in splitting his blessings. 

           The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said; “The supplication of a Muslim for his brother in his absence will certainly be answered. Every time he makes a supplication for good for his brother, the angel appointed for this particular task says: `Ameen! May it be for you, too’.” [Muslim].

     5. You met for His sake and continue to reunite for His sake:

         The basis of your friendship has been set for His sake. You met on good intentions and continue to meet for a purpose greater than yourselves. Your reunion, even if it may be years from your original meeting, will be just as passionate as you remember. Because it is lit by the love of Allah suhanahu wa ta'laa.

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "On the Day of Resurrection, Allah, the Exalted, will say: `Where are those who have mutual love for the sake of My Glory? Today I shall shelter them in My Shade when there will be no shade except Mine".
[Muslim].

6. You hold no record book of reciprocation on them: 

        You find yourself forgetting quite easily the last time he/she initiated a connection. Because that doesn't really matter to you. You don't hold an account of who puts in more effort in the friendship. It makes forgiving quite easy as well because it involves forgiving for the sake of Allah and you really have nothing to lose because the basis of the friendship was not you or your friend. 

           The Prophet (saw) said: “Among Allah’s servants are people who are neither prophets nor martyrs, but whom the prophets and martyrs will deem fortunate because of their high status with Allah.” The companions asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Inform us of who they are.” The Prophet (saw) told them that “they are people who loved each other for Allah’s sake, even without being related to one another or being tied to one another by the exchange of wealth."

7. Your conflict comes with no drama: 

         Oftentimes, we may get caught up in friendships that we cannot maintain due to differences in values or perhaps they come with bad influence. Sometimes, we even get caught up in drama and decide to end things in a horrible way. These times of conflict can result in an end to the connection between you two, at least on a physical level.  Friends who love for the sake of Allah hold a divine connection which is not tainted by conflict. When it does happen however, they decide to end matters in a a respectable manner that pays due to your past and your connection with Allah and not your ego. 

     8. You don’t have to agree on everything:

    

        If the basis of your friendship is love for Allah, then it will be built on his word. Differences of opinion  especially with regards to religious matters, are seen in Islamic history and date all the way back to the Sahabas time. If your frienship is for His sake, then you will not need anyone's approval of your ideas since they lie between you and your Lord. Good friends will consult the Quran and Hadith when they disagree. And if even then they still do, that's okay.

    9. You give them your good word:

    

         Friends for the sake of Allah don't hold back on their love for one another. Because their ego doesn't mess around with the relationship. They praise each other when they commit good deeds and give their good word. You also shouldn't care about how your compliments for example are received. Cause they were never for anyone's sake but Allah's. Sometimes a good word can go a long way. We forget to praise great people and this can make them stray from the right path. Letting them know you appreciate them and what they do gives them motivation to continue doing great things for Allah's sake. You will share the reward that way.

     Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: A man was with the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) when another man passed by and the former said: "O Messenger of Allah! I love this man (for Allah's sake)". Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) asked, "Have you informed him?'' He said, "No". Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) then said, "Tell him (that you love him)". So he went up to the man and said to him, "I love you for the sake of Allah;'' and the other replied, "May Allah, for Whose sake you love me, love you.''
[Abu Dawud].

10. You are willing to sacrifice for them for the sake of Allah: 

          What does it mean to sacrifice? It means to let go of what is precious to you. Time, energy, money and reputation for Allah's sake. You are willing to even give your friend up for Allah's sake too if that is what is best for him. Keep in mind, this sacrifice should NEVER be brought up as leverage or blackmail on your friend to prove your loyalty. It is sacrifice for Allah's sake and for you on the day of judgement that is done and then thrown in the sea, as the Arabs say.

  

           The Prophet (saw) went on to describe their great reward on the Day of Resurrection: “By Allah, their faces will be luminous and they will be upon light. They will feel no fear when the people will be feeling fear, and they will feel no grief when the people will be grieving.” Then he (saw) read the verse: ”Behold! Verily on the friends of Allah there is no fear, nor shall they grieve.” [Yunus:10:62]. (Abu Dawud)

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The Dreaded Dress

Another beloved friend writes a reflection:

      I woke up after a long, deep, and well needed sleep. It was quite an okay morning, the same tired feeling I felt every morning, just not as dreadful as usual. I went on with my day as I would usually. Checked my phone, washed my face, brushed my teeth, got some breakfast and showered. This week was the one right after my special-time-of-the-month, and I usually have a hard time going back to my praying routine. Prayers were usually on and off after this time, but I eventually get back on track. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a very faithful person, and I love God and I know very well my duties towards Him. I try my best but I have some difficulty not letting this bloody world distract me.  I carried on my day’s duties and the dream I had the past night instantly hit me. The last thing I thought during my dream was: “Crap. This means I’m gonna die.” I remember an old friend of mine who once told me that in a dream, the moment you begin to do a higher level of thinking you instantly wake up, which is usually why the end of your dream usually holds the most meaning and usually why it’s the most memorable. I dreamt that I was in a gorgeous white gown. My hair was up in a simple bun, it looked darker than usual. My dress was A-line, flowy, but not puffy, with a beautiful sweeping train and lace sleeves. It was a wedding dress. I was not happy, I was not sad; I was indifferent. It was my wedding day and I was doing what I had to do.  I woke up from my dream, and I didn’t quite forget what I dreamt, but I didn't think about it either. I had things to accomplish; dreams never meant anything to me.

     I went along with my life, and the moment I recalled my dream, I remembered sitting between my mother and her friends a while ago, and they were interpreting dreams, somehow the topic of wedding dresses and getting married came up in their conversation.  They said that if a girl sees herself in a wedding dress in a dream, it means that she will die.  At the time, I laughed and said they were talking nonsense.  There could be a million reasons why a wedding dress would come up in a dream, either like many girls, you’re wedding obsessed, or like me and a few others, getting married is a nightmare. I could understand why such a dream would symbolize death to me.  But today was different, it didn’t just symbolize death, it meant death.  It’s not like I believed 100% of their interpretation, but at the back of my head, I thought to myself, “What if they were right?”  I mean I've never really met anyone who dreamt about being in a wedding dress, probably because they never lived long enough to talk about their dream.

     I’m not usually a paranoid person, but I have my moments. I tried to shrug the negative thoughts away, and go on with my day, but I couldn't stop. At first I wasn't so scared, I just stopped for a moment, and listened to myself, to my soul, to my body, to my feelings. It didn't feel like I was going to die. This pause was not the only one I took throughout the day; I repeated the process quite a few times. I wasn't freaking out or anything, but the possibility was there, and if it was probable, then there really wasn't anything I could do about it, I can’t stop myself from dying. So, I called my mom. The phone rang a few times, we exchanged how-are-you’s, I-miss-you’s and all that, she was at the mall with a friend. My mother was showing off the shoes I bought for her, and her friend loved them so they went to pick up a pair. At the back of my head I thought, what a tragic way for me to die on my mother, she’ll probably treasure those shoes forever. She was busy, she asked me if I needed anything, and I told her that I was okay, and that I just wanted to tell her about a dream I had. She was busy. She didn't really care much to ask what I dreamt, but I told her anyway. She didn't seem sad or worried though, she just asked me if there was music and clapping, and zaghareet (Arab war cry as I call it). I told her there weren't any, she didn’t really listen. She said “So, you don’t need anything? Khalas, I’ll call you later, let me finish what I’m doing.” In my head I was thinking “If I die, it will definitely be tragic for her.”

      I looked around me, my room wasn't as neat as it could be, and I didn’t have my wudu. I got up and did my wudu, and cleaned my room. I started the laundry that’s been piling up for the past week.  If I die I want to be on my wudu, and I want my room to be clean and my laundry to be done. It might be a weird way to go about it, but that was my first reaction. I wasn't shaky or scared or worried. If I have to go, I have to go. And no, I am not ready to die, not religiously, not personally. I’m still young, and I have so many dreams, and I have so much I need to change in myself for Allah. I always tried to keep my attachment to this world very minimal and there was always a war going on inside my head. But I am human, so no I was not ready to meet my Lord. I was ashamed, but I trusted God. I was worried, but my eman has always been strong. I made so many mistakes, and I still am, but God is most forgiving. I want to meet my Lord with a pure heart, good intentions, mountains of good deeds, and years of repentance. Today should not be my last day, but if it was, there’s nothing I could do about it, except wait, and make sure it happened when I was doing something good.

      I blasted the Qur’an with the voice of my favourite reciter. He began to cry halfway through the Surah. “This could be a sign,” I thought to myself. I listened and I let myself feel every word; I’ve never been this focused on Qur’an. I always loved it, but I usually would get side tracked.  “If I’m going to die today, I hope I die now.” I wished. A Dua kept going on and on through my head, Allahuma thabetny a'nd al soa'al. I repeated it in my head almost a million times. When I’m asked, I really hope I don’t fail myself. But how can I be sure that I won’t. The truth is I can’t be sure.

     Ramadan is so soon, could I really die before I get the chance to fast in the blessed month again? I felt so doomed. It was time for prayer, I renewed my wudu. It had to be perfect, this prayer has to count because it could be my last. While doing my wudu, I smiled, because I knew that if anyone knew what was going on in my head they would think I was so silly. I also smiled because I also remembered all the times I asked God to make my last living moment in my sujood. Maybe this was it, maybe God wants to answer my prayer, and maybe I’ll drop dead in my prayer, in an empty house, away from my family and friends. Wonderful. I prayed, and this time I recited every word perfectly, out loud, slowly, my sujood was much longer than usual, and tears flooded my prayer matt. I had to get up eventually, and no my life did not end in prayer. I studied a little, and looked at the beautiful green book laying on my side table. I missed it so much. It’s been weeks since I last opened it, and read anything other than surat Al Kahf. I brushed my fingers along the top of this beautiful book, I've always wanted to dedicate an hour of my day to reading it. I always wanted to pray fajr, make my dua, and read the Qur’an. It was a dream for me to start my day in such a peaceful way. It was a dream because the days when I didn’t miss fajr I would pray and go back to sleep, the dua would happen on occasions. I hoped that my dreams would count for something if I died. I mean I’m not a bad person, but I’m not the best person I could be, and God knows what’s in my heart.

    At lunch time I ate, and I forgot to say bismillah. What if I choke to death? And on top of that I forgot to say bismillah, how horrible of me. These thoughts got the best of me, I asked my roommate what she thought. I asked if maybe there was hint, I asked if she thought I could feel it. “You can’t, death happens so suddenly.” She was very comforting, and I had to pee. What if I died while peeing? In the washroom the dirtiest place and the worst place to die. Terrible. I hoped against it, as soon as I finished I redid my wudu, which is not something I would do normally unless I had to pray.

    My imagination went wild, would the angel of death be gentle, beautiful, scary, friendly? Would he give me a moment before he takes my soul? Will there be a light coming out of my heart? Will I feel anything? Will everything I’ve ever felt come rushing out of me? Will my grave be bright, and comfortable? Will it be as green as I always imagined it to be? Will I see Allah’s beauty? I hoped.

    My day preceded as such, I kept trying to go on with my life, but the thought of death kept haunting me. Scenario’s would play out in my head. All my actions had an outcome, every prayer was prayed right on time, and was perfectly mastered, my Dua was ten times longer than usual, my cries for forgiveness were more sincere, and my fear of Allah was renewed every minute of my day.  I wished that I could live longer than today, so that I could make sure that every day of the rest of my life played out like this. These thoughts were scary but they kept me going in the right direction.

     So for those of you who read this far, I didn’t type this big blob of a life story for no reason. I typed it to send a message across. Even though I could have sent this message in a shorter way, I just felt like blabbing. Now for the message that we all probably already know, but boy did I need reminding:

    You cannot feel death. There are no signs and there are no warnings. There is nothing you can do to stop it, and death does not care who you are. Death does not care what you dream of doing, or what you are doing. Live every moment as if it’s your last, live every moment with fear and repentance. Live every moment with the thought of Allah at the back of your head. Live every moment as though it’s the moment you will meet your Lord; as though it’s the moment you will be asked. Pray for yourself. Pray for yourself and for those you love as much as you can. Keep a prayer in your heart, and repeat it at the back of your head at every minute of your day. Purify yourself; purify your body, purify your tongue, purify your heart, and purify your mind. Listen to your soul, listen to your conscience. Listen to the Qur’an with every living cell inside of you and allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to feel Allah’s presence and his blessings. Lastly my lovely sisters, and brothers in Islam, I ask you to thank Allah for every second you are blessed with, because it is indeed a blessing. Alhamdulilah, may Allah ease our pains, and have mercy on our souls, may he give us the light of knowledge, wisdom, and eman, may he protect us from the attachment of this world. May he keep us on our straight path, and help us overcome our obstacles. Ameen.