We Should Be Ashamed of the Way We Treat Our Converts

    **Trigger warning**: confrontational language that may make you cringe. The intention of this entry is to make you feel uncomfortable. So if you are, don't stop reading.

     So, you're at a conference or some local mosque and a shy and nervous unfamiliar man or woman approaches the imam and says that he/she wants to convert to Islam. Suddenly, the crowds are whispering and on their toes thirsty and patiently awaiting to hear the words of the shahada come out of his/her mouth. As the imam addresses the man or woman and begins reciting the words, the prospective convert is anxiously trying his/her hardest to mumble them and is careful to do it as perfectly as possible. Everyone is on the edge of their seats. Women are smiling and some are even holding back their tears and as soon as the shahadah is done, the crowd erupts in a loud "Allahu akbar" and begins clapping. Tissues are passed around. The men quickly roam around the new convert and exchange their warmest salaams if it's a man. Women approach the woman and give hugs, congrats and some recipes for the full conversion to really take precedent in this "naive" man or woman's "new life".

     I wonder if these people take one minute to think about what happens after this ritual?

     Absolutely nothing.

     Poor man or woman. Not because they are new to the faith or anything. Heck, they could have better akhlaq and knowledge than all of us. But because of this show we put on for them. Because of this fasad we put on to lead them to believe that they might just be included in our circles.

     I wonder if us Muslims ever once think of what the newly converted brother and sister faces after that event? Have we thought of what it's like to have to face family with this new faith? And not just any faith, a faith that is to most seen as a "cult for terrorists". A faith that is termed by some non-Muslims as "satanic" at times among other horrible associations. In these families, the convert quickly realizes that they have chosen to alienate themselves within their own families. They may have to deal with having to hide their prayers, hide their higab, hide their Quran and even conceal their Muslim friends in some cases. So, naturally what happens then? As humans, we look towards family or support elsewhere and try to replace them with people who might accept us. Perhaps not completely replace them, depending on the situation, but the convert inevitably looks for a safe space.

     Now, where do you think the convert will go?

     To that fantasy we created. He or she will indefinitely go back to that mosque. But what will they find there?

     Rejection.

     Everyone is too busy. We might give him or her some sources, books, a Quran. But do we really believe that that is what they are looking for? We are in the age of mass communication. Information is cheap and can be found everywhere. They look for a home and help. An avenue and a place to feel needed and accepted. But instead they are met with "busy" Muslims who appear to care but are no where to be seen when real help and action is needed. All they wanted was a listening ear and a helping hand. Instead, they find themselves alienated further within this new faith, facing discrimination within and outside their communities. The Muslims are too busy coming together on the basis of race and ethnicity, they forgot the converts among them. They might have been invited to a dinner or some event, but were they really included in conversation? or did everyone speak in their foreign tongue and then proceed to providing fake apologies met with more alienation?

I have a serious problem with the word "convert". I prefer to say so and so "embraced" Islam. The word convert has connotations that are very difficult to live by. It means, "now, be like us." It does not mean, "welcome to our faith" or "let's get to know one another." As soon as the new Muslim makes that shahadah, they are told by countless other older Muslims to "make up" all of the prayers they've missed, wear higab and do multiple deeds which are probably neglected by those people themselves. I found it beautiful when a Sheikh once told a new Muslim to make dua for him. It was a sweet way of saying "we are equals and your dua is just as valid as mine".

     The saddest part is when those who embraced Islam decide to consider leaving it. And it's not because of the faith itself, but because of our treatment.

     My fellow Muslims, do not look down on each other. Do not forget who guided you and who made you born a Muslim. Teach Islam in the softest way you can. Leave the rest to Allah.

9 Signs You Have Trust in Allah

     I'm not going to lie, this one was pretty tough to write. Trust in Allah takes a lot of iman and taqwa. We have become so familiar with the concept of having control that we just can't stand relinquishing it for something or someone else. Often, our whole lives are just a big attempt at taking control of our situations and we seek a comfort in knowing that we've got it going good. How can one be fully trusting of Allah's decree? The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) told us that we must take whatever actions needed towards our desired goal while leaving the unknown to Allah (swt). But how many of us truly believe that if we let things go, they would turn up in our favor? The prophet's companions used to enter battles where their chances for victory on paper would have been slim to none. But they had trust in Allah and trust that this was a deed for Him and Him only, and this is what ultimately made them victorious. 

Here are my 10 signs that you may have true trust in Allah (swt):

1. You don't expect your plans to play out perfectly:

   You take plans seriously but leave some flexibility for the unexpected. You easily embrace change and take comfort in knowing that things don't have to turn out "perfectly" as planned.

2. You believe uncertainty is inevitable:

  

   Some things in life don't have clear and direct solutions and you are okay with that. You think it is an inevitable part of life to not know things. Uncertainty is Allah asserting his presence in your life and you respect that this is His expertise.

3. You take serious risks: 

   You are not usually fearful of matters that most people fear. Fear is usually nurtured by uncertainty and when you've accepted uncertainty, then you've laid trust in Allah. You know that He is the One to record your risks as valid efforts that deserve good deeds and recognition on the day of judgement, regardless of the outcome. I would assume this applies to risks that are taken for the sake of Allah.

4. You do not dwell on matters beyond your control:

    When your expectations are not met, you quickly choose to remember Allah and say alhamdoulillah. Even if you were initially disappointed, it doesn't take you very long to reinstate your trust in Allah and get back to your daily routine. You are not the type to ask "what if?" and "why?" too much.

5. You don't need closure to get closure:

   Your ultimate source of closure is Allah. You don't need that phone call or some magical signs to show you that you made the right choice. 

6. You truly believe that Allah will never let you down: 

  You think Allah has your best interests at heart and that even the tribulations can be sources of happiness because they remind you that He thinks of you highly enough and knows that you can handle them.

7. You believe Allah judges you fairly:

  We tend to trust people who we believe will not judge us harshly. You truly believe that Allah sees through all your layers and recognizes your good as well as your bad deeds. You believe He makes His decision because He knows you even better than you know yourself.

8. You live life for something or someone else:

   You don't live for yourself. You live for a cause, a family or some other reason that you've set for Allah's sake and for your afterlife. For that reason, when something unexpected comes your way, you know that it's not because of your ill intentions and this keeps you calm to know that it wasn't you, it was just a test.

9. You know life isn't fair:

 You know that life is naturally a roller coaster and that the truth is that it doesn't get better. This helps you accepts that ups and downs and deal with new situations better. This also helps you appreciate the good moments rather than expect life to be happy as default.

Leave that at home

A dear sister writes:

They tell me

leave your politics at home

leave your "activism"

leave your history

leave your religion

stay "uncontroversial"

Be like us.

Don't get yourself in trouble

Think of your future

You don't know what you're up against.

I tell them

I'll leave my politics at home

if you leave your patriarchy at the door

I'll leave my "activism"

if you leave your apathy

I'll leave behind my history

if you just learn from it

I'll leave my religion

if you stop acting like a God

I'll be "uncontroversial" 

when you stop labelling your ignorance as controversy

but to be like you?

Never.

For to be like you is to live like a machine

a machine that obeys every order on command 

without question.

One that can't aspire for better or feel

out of the boundaries its expected to feel.

and one that lets other tell it

which lives are more valuable than the rest.

"I want to live, I don't want to survive"

For if I was to live

even for just one day,

a free woman

with dignity and hope,

struggle 

and

emotion

up against

the mightiest powers there may be,

rather than live a hundred years

wandering for purpose,

following orders,

keeping to borders,

satisfying any selfish desire that comes my way,

for justice,

I would.

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Why We Need to Reconstruct the Way We Do "Dawah" in Universities

      What pops in your head when you hear the word "dawah"?

      You might picture a bearded man or a lady donning the higab with qurans and brochures in their hands, standing somewhere on a university campus or in a busy street, engaging in heavy debates with random non-Muslims. You might have even heard yourself of a few "success" stories that pushed that Robert or this Jane to convert to Islam. It's all fairy dust and rainbows in the world of "dawah."

      Before I get into why I think we need to reinvent and reshape the way we perceive dawah, let me clarify some things. When I refer to "dawah" I am referring specifically to the full discourse and images of the da'ees that comes with what an average non-Muslim and Muslim not working closely with Muslim organizations sees. And as much as we would like to assume that dawah is just for education and awareness, the convert stories are the only measure of success and the only true reinforcement for someone who's been hard at work doing dawah for a long time. It's much easier to say that guidance comes from Allah then to practice it. And by practicing it, I mean letting people reach their own conclusions and not letting our implicit motivations to "guide" them to conversion be the end goal. I do not mean to belittle the hard work of those who stand for hours on end to preach a good word. But I've got to be honest, it just looks bad on us Muslims and frankly doesn't represent my notion of what Islamic dawah should be.

    I will explain myself.




      "And do not trust except those who follow your religion." Say, "Indeed, the [true] guidance is the guidance of Allah . [Do you fear] lest someone be given [knowledge] like you were given or that they would [thereby] argue with you before your Lord?" Say, "Indeed, [all] bounty is in the hand of Allah - He grants it to whom He wills. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Wise."[Al-Imran: 73]


      We are living in a new era of jahilliyah (ignorance) where the concept of God and religion is not the mainstream and it is certainly not the accepted or the norm. Nowadays, atheists who consider themselves intellectual have taken to new deities as the Arabs before Islam before did, but instead of idols they have taken science as their religion. This new scientific religion will not tolerate anyone who chooses to make any claim without referencing it appropriately (and not with Quranic verses either). This religion does not accommodate for other beliefs. So when a Muslim who looks visibly so, approaches a random stranger with this belief, what you've got is endless arguments and despite the few success stories we hear, is ultimately a waste of valuable and precious time. And it is not me who gave time it's value. Our religion teaches us so:





"Indeed, mankind is in loss" [Surat Al-Asr:2]

     When a non-Muslim sees a Muslim and a stranger arguing passionately about religion, those with the atheist mindset will affirm their beliefs that religion is the cause of all of the problems and lack of peace in the world. I believe a Muslim should remain dignified and not put themselves out for display in public settings where it is not the right time and place to enforce ideas upon people. Add to that, if you've ever campaigned for anything, regardless if it was controversial, you've probably seen and felt first hand what it's like to be turned down by rude strangers. Why should a Muslim subject themselves willingly to this kind of treatment? Especially when a more dignified one is available.

     During the early days of Islam, the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was forced to make his religion secret because of the small number of Muslims that existed and the risk that it imposed on them. Surely today, we don't have as much of a risk imposed on us but as minority members living in a mostly non-Muslim society, we must also show care and be intelligent in which spaces and at what time we decide to go public with matters that may harm us. Sometimes, its unavoidable. But when it is, it's safe to say that a Muslim should keep their own standing in mind and the society at large as well. I may be challenged on this one and I welcome differences of opinion.



      "So if they argue with you, say, "I have submitted myself to Allah [in Islam], and [so have] those who follow me." And say to those who were given the Scripture and [to] the unlearned, "Have you submitted yourselves?" And if they submit [in Islam], they are rightly guided; but if they turn away - then upon you is only the [duty of] notification. And Allah is Seeing of [His] servants." [Al-Imran:20]

     So in the spirit of saving our time, energy and for becoming stronger Muslims, we should consider other options that raise awareness and answer the questions that people might have of Islam, but in a more efficient way.  And for that, I suggest integration.

     Not assimilation. Not blind acculturation of mainstream society, but integration. 

      University clubs for Muslims should make their dawah committees meet every week to do visible acts that define our Islam within their larger context. For example, a trip to the food bank or the local school. We need initiatives that make the Muslim woman or man a represented member in student unions at large and on the round table of any major meeting that may concern them. We should not allow others to dictate who we are and decide what works and what does not for Muslims. We must choose to break stereotypes and teach people about Islam by being Muslims with Islam on our sleeves. I don't mean integrating while denying our Muslim identities, but integrating with full acceptance of ourselves and pride in our Islam. Such that, it becomes itself one of the main topics of discussion. We need proud Muslims to be at the important dignified places and to speak for themselves. We need Muslims working alongside non-Muslims for things they have in common besides religion. And there should would be no worry about whether religion might be brought up, cause if you're a visible enough of a Muslim that's established a level of comfort with a non-Muslim, they'll ask you themselves. And sometimes they won't ask, they might see your outwardly behavior and retract the questions and beliefs they had in mind earlier. To me, that is the best dawah that could be done.

      Think, what would the Prophet (pbuh) do?


What do you think is the best way to do dawah? Do you agree or disagree?

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Celebrity Crushes: Political Figures, Artists, and Advocates

        I find it hard to believe that there could be anyone out there that has never had a celebrity crush. Whether it was or is a television character, political leader or artist, we can all relate to having those fantasies of catching the attention of our crush for even just a few seconds. I wonder what makes the presence of these individuals so coveted? And as Muslims, how should we perceive and treat people of this status?

      We are all too familiar with what happens to people when they meet a celebrity in person. Suddenly, everyone is desperate to snap a photo and explain why they are their biggest fan. Then a quick upload on their favorite social network to brag to friends with a caption that glorifies the individual as though meeting them was the highlight of their life. If we are one of the "lucky" ones to have spent a few minutes more than the usual passerby, we desperately seek their approval and/or attention. If it's an artist, women flaunt and attempt to dress to impress. If it's a political figure, suddenly the brother wants to discuss all his aspirations. And the saddest of cases is the reality of social justice advocates and religious leaders whose popularity for everything besides their message is abused by young women and men alike. If it's a man whose catching the eye of the public for his advocacy and hard work, suddenly all that women are concerned about is his relationship status. And God forbid if he's married, then his wife better be ready for some serious aunty-like scrutiny and judgement. And if it's a woman, you can be sure that there was very few men contemplating about what came out of her mouth.

     People who are privileged to reach fame are also privileged to receive thousands, if not, millions of fans who support them wholeheartedly and would give up whatever it took for a chance to meet and greet them. They are also privileged to enjoy the support of these strangers in an almost blind fashion. These fans come to associate with these figures very strongly. So strongly that they cannot fathom seeing them commit a mistake in the public eye and some would even discredit and purposefully neglect evidence of their real humanity if they were presented with it.

      At this point, these individuals are no longer human. They have reached the status of idols and deities.

     Wait a second, that's extreme thinking, isn't it? I mean we don't obsess that much, right?

      Think about this; how much of your day do you usually spend praying? Let's say five minutes times five for each prayer, and then a few minutes here and there for some reflection or possibly some dua. The ritual of  a die-hard fan that continuously seeks to catch the attention of his idol and receives updates of his/her life through whatever medium it may be is unbelievably time consuming. So much so that it can be in itself exhibited as religious behavior all on it's own that is embedded in strong beliefs and rituals. Watching a video of an interview, tweeting them, reading an article here and there, browsing their pics, and listening to their music is bound to be more than the time spent on prayer and worship. 

     But why does this happen? What maintains and motivates this behavior?

    Popular figures work hard to reach mass audiences. One of the ways they are successful in doing so is when they provide the world with an illusion of their connection to their viewers.  Celebrities in particular are demanded by their agents to do and say multiple things that lure the public into believing that they are just like them. They do this through signings, VIP passes, interviews and other means.To look up to someone for their good work is one thing, but to let the obsession with that individual on a personal level cloud the real nature of the message they are trying to send is something else entirely.

     A Muslim must be wary of the value of their time. He or she should ask themselves an important question when they are about to engage in matters that do not benefit nor harm them; and that is, "what is the purpose of this?" If I go to his/her concert for example, what am I doing besides listening to music I could be listening to at home? Is the money put on this trip really put to use in a way Allah might be pleased with? Is all this information I'm gathering on who dated whom and who wore what beneficial to my existence in this life and the thereafter in any way?

     A Muslim must also be wary of what he or she stores in their thinking space. What we let get processed in or minds becomes who we are. Instead of filling that space with creative ideas and positive messages, it becomes encrypted with unrealistic fantasies that only distract from the reality at hand. With time, the fantasies take over and become life itself. Then the person is left unfulfilled and wondering what their real purpose in life was in the first place.

     But another question begs itself. What differentiates these individuals from people working hard to deliver the same messages but who are not under the radar?

   Purpose-wise, nothing. It's just fame and status that is coveted here. You might even know yourself of someone who started out small and didn't receive any attention and now is gaining popularity and suddenly you're letting the world know how close you were. 

     How do we then eliminating the idolization of these figures? What if they happen to be an advocate of some sort? Do I stop associating with them as a whole?

    No. All one needs to do is begin adopting a new philosophy and outlook on people as a whole. Everyone is human and should be treated equally regardless of the status they have within society. If they are advocates you are fond of, make sincere dua for them and for yourself to reach a similar positive impact on people. When you meet them, put your camera phones aside and fight the temptation to engage with them unnecessarily and for the mere selfish desire to gain attention and bragging rights. Also, think of their own struggles as people watched by many who are constantly under scrutiny and who are recipients of harsh criticism. Some cannot be seen in public without swarms of people invading their privacy and writing columns about them. Others have families that have also been dragged into the public eye. There's a lot more to being famous than it seems. And if they're a Muslim, they are then under a bigger responsibility and higher expectations to represent Islam well and speak truth regardless of their perceived level of religiosity.

    Realize that you may never meet these people. Realize that they may never be more than a stranger to you and that is okay. A Muslim does not wait on anything from the creations of Allah.

      So, be realistic, have taqwa and remember the One who helped these people reach where they are now. Remember that no matter how awesome these people seem  and how down to earth and accessible they may be, that Allah is even more accessible and that pleasing Him will be a reward for you in this life and the hereafter. He's the real celebrity you should be striving to get the attention of.

I Like Your Energy

You are mesmerizing.

Something in the air 

of your presence

calls attention from me

I've given no other.

I await patiently and on edge

like an eager explorer

hiking to the top of a mountain

on a chilly night

to catch the breathtaking moment

of the wake of dawn

when your face appears.

And when you smile,

the sun peeks

and he who ached for your comfort

forgets the burn of the journey.

The rest of your encounter

propagates soul and spirit.

Leaves me warm 

enough to feel as though

life in all its wonder

has come to a blissful end.

What I feel is not

only what lovers do.

But friends

and strangers

feel the same way about you too.

So, I just wanted to say that

I like your energy.

I hope that just like the blazing sun

you continue to beam 

the most mesmerizing of rays 

regardless of the life 

that

is 

below.

I wish for your beautiful existence

to keep rippling onto others 

with its love

like the one 

that is infinite

in silent water.

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Layers of the Heart; the Struggle of Dusting Off the Impurities

     We talk about iman. We talk about taqwa. But do we feel it?

     I just want to share something I've noticed within myself that makes me wonder if it could be a collective experience that I share with all of humanity.

     Work with me for a second, and put your science and reason aside; focus on feeling.

     Have you ever had days or moments where you've felt your inner being to be lightweight, transcendent and luminous? Did you feel content, gratified and at ease? Did that moment arise from a personal epiphany, prayer or sincere dua? Did you exhibit a calm behavior and found yourself thinking before you spoke or acted? Did you find that the feeling remained until you got distracted and accumulated sins?

     In the time you seek to recover back to that state, you are less sensitive to the world around you. Other people's suffering seems distant. Your own concerns and goals about yourself are prioritized. And you are less inclined to do acts of charity or sacrifice. And this is the time Shaitan does his best work. He will do whatever it takes to convince you that you have strayed forever and that Allah can never forgive and give you back that feeling. And that you've lost touch with Him. But we all know well that Shaitan never asks us to do what is good for us, he only wants our demise. By telling us that we are far from our past, he is making his job easier and guaranteeing that he won't need to put in much effort next time at guiding you away. 



Allah has set a seal upon their hearts and upon their hearing, and over their vision is a veil. And for them is a great punishment.[Albaqara:7]

     When we are engulfed in our own self, we are essentially lying to ourselves about our existence and pretending as though we are not in need of Allah. It is not only a recipe for our own failure in the dunya and akhira, but it is also arrogance in the face of our Creator:



In their hearts is disease, so Allah has increased their disease; and for them is a painful punishment because they [habitually] used to lie.[albaqara:10]

     Allah states that when a heart is hard, it is similar to a rock, or even harder. One of the most beautiful ayas in my opinion is the one which reminds us of the arrogance of the human existence as compared to Allah's other beings and creation:



Then your hearts became hardened after that, being like stones or even harder. For indeed, there are stones from which rivers burst forth, and there are some of them that split open and water comes out, and there are some of them that fall down for fear of Allah . And Allah is not unaware of what you do.[albaqara:74]

     Those of us with hard hearts are insensitive to the minor signs of Allah's existence in the universe. This patriarchy might lead some to demand that Allah proves himself through science or other direct ways. But Allah states that the signs are easily detected by those who are certain of their faith and who have trust in Allah. He also states that those who have hard hearts also share them with others of the same nature, and they only bring each other down:



Those who do not know say, "Why does Allah not speak to us or there come to us a sign?" Thus spoke those before them like their words. Their hearts resemble each other. We have shown clearly the signs to a people who are certain [in faith].

     But like I said, feeling an iman-low is no reason to give up on yourself and your deen. So what can we do to regain these feelings of connection with Allah (subhanahu wa ta'laa)? Well, if you thought deeply about this question, then you would surely come to the conclusion that any physical act of worship without true sincerity and spirituality is unlikely to get you feeling taqwa again. My humble suggestion would be to focus on direct communication through dua that is transparent and honest. It might also be of help to check your heart every few minutes and do an evaluation of your energy or your noor. One way to regain noor into your life is through wudu and salat, but also through, what in my opinion, is one of the most beautiful duas that the prophet used to say before fajr. It is a dua that gives the one who recites it a full 360 degree engulfment of noor, from one's heart to their surroundings:

"Oh Allah, make there be light in my heart, and light in my grave, and light in my hearing, and light in my sight, and light in my hair, and light in my skin, and light in the flesh of my body, and light in my blood, and light in my bones, and light from between my palms, and light from behind, and light from my right and left, and light from above and below me. Oh Allah, increase me in noor, give me noor, and make me noor."

Impossible Closure

They wronged me.

I am not worth love.

My future is in ruins.

How could they?

My blood boils.
My anger is brewing.

You'll never understand,
and you might never know
the pain of sewing back
those open wounds.

How long must
I endure
and wait
for a final cure?

But a question begs itself.

Why have I given 
much of myself
in the name 
of hope?

Who will mend 
the scarred soul
of one who has
given up?

But just like a broken door
or a floppy shoe,
the fix lies with it's creator.

My heart calls for Him.

I  now hand over 
all of my sorrows,
my regrets,
and my guilt;
asking for one thing in return;

wholeness

and endless love

Oh God, please forgive me.

Forgive me for ever believing closure
was my right.
Forgive me for seeking what I do not own.

I accept all that has befallen me
and to it I say, "thank you."
For somehow finding a way
to guide my soul back to you


Alhamdoulillah.

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