You are born alone. You live alone. And you die alone.
What does it mean to be lonely? Is the company of others the only variable in assuring one has a happy and hospitable life? Or does loneliness stem from our empty hearts?
You’re thinking right now of all the amazing people in your life. This is definitely not a post that appeals to you, right?
When Allah subhanahu wa ta’laa made Adam, he gave him the companion Hawa (peace be upon them). Cause he made it our nature to prefer being in the presence of others. The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) himself was given Abu bakr Alsideeq. Love for the sake of Allah gives life more meaning and even the most pious of us need a friend.
But why do people so often fall short of our expectations? Why do the closest people to us fail to satisfy our needs? Why do they have a hard time understanding us? Often, even those who we see on an almost consistent basis forget who we are and judge us wrongly. Some people marry with the expectation that their partner will fill that void and end up emptier than they started. The first problem lies in the perception of these questions. No one is obligated to provide for you and no one will read your mind. No one can grasp all of the dimensions that make you who you are. No one can fully envision the extent of the hardships that have been inflicted upon you and how much you struggle on a daily basis to stay strong. Not even from years of companionship could you possibly establish this type of connection with someone. Which is why we are alone in this dunya and from this loneliness should stem our love for Allah.
Allah subhanahu wa ta’laa can be reached at any time in our life and even the mere remembrance of Him can lighten up our hearts. He knows all those details the rest don’t care about. How does one establish that special connection with Allah subhanahu wa ta’laa? It’s quite simple actually. Think about how you establish a connection with people. We establish a connection with others when we share a vulnerable aspect of ourselves that we don’t expose so easily to the world. The more private the connection is, the stronger we feel tied to the individual and the more we trust in them. Now try this. Speak to Allah subhanahu wa ta’laa as a friend. Think of Him as someone who is following you with every step you make. Every thought. Every hardship and struggle. And every time you smile on the inside, you share this with Him. Talk to Him as though he lives in your head and heart and tell Him things you wouldn't tell a soul. Keep a few secrets between each other. And I don’t mean the bad ones, because those types of secrets are easy to hide from the world. But share with Him an aspect of your life that you would normally tell someone else. Now you've established trust.
At this point, you have freed your soul from the flock.
"And remember your Rubb by your tongue and within yourself, humbly and with fear and without loudness in words, in the mornings and in the afternoons, and be not of those who are neglectful.'' (The Holy Quran 7:205)
Now you will feel so comfortable being alone. So much so you may be able to go for a walk to a park, sit on the grass and smile to yourself. Because you've finally come to realize that you don’t live this world alone as you have thought. I promise you, only Allah knows if my promise is to be fulfilled, but you will see everything clearly and Allah will help you through every hardship and he will make you sensitive to things that did not provoke any happiness in you before. One day, we will all die. We will die and be brought up to Him bare with only our good deeds to save us. It’s time to think about this before it’s too late. We are born bare and we die bare.
We must now live bare too.
"I am as My servant expects Me to be. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me a hand’s span, I draw near to him an arm’s length; and if he draws near to me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running." (Hadith Qudsi, Al-Bukhari)