Saturday, 19 October 2013

On Believing In Yourself

"So, tell me about yourself?"

My mind is blank.
As blank as the open sea;
As blank as an endless desert;
as blank as the canvas of a reluctant painter;
and as blank as the lit screen of a poet with that troublesome block

Who am I?

I certainly know what I am not

I am not that intelligent. 
I am not that artistic.
I am not that focused. 
I am not that eloquent.
I am not the one who gets by with a smile;
and I am not the one with enough to make a real difference.

I am just not that good enough

If you ask me why I am what I am

I'll tell you,

I just got lucky.

What I am is:

I'm the one who's bound to say something stupid.
I'm the one who trips over things others merely walk over.
I'm the one who has to multiply my efforts for a shot at normality;
and I'm the one who has to fill the cup to its brim to make up for its bland content.

I'm the underdog 

and besides,

I'm just humble is what I am

But something doesn't feel right
I feel that something just doesn't add up 

The facts.
oh, the facts

Your compliments don't make sense to me.
Your offers seem baseless.
Your love looks selfish;
and your time would be best spent elsewhere.

I'm just a burden on you

You seem to resist.
But why?
Why do you bother?
Don't you have anything better to do?
What do you want from me?


You want me to accept you?

What does that mean?
I'm not sure I understood correctly

That "want" word sounds strange
How could you want me when I don't want myself?
How could you accept me when I can't accept myself?

Something doesn't add up

I must be worth it
I must be everything you're looking for

and it's time to face those facts
It's time to believe in luck;
not my luck
but yours

and I know what I am

I'm not just the things I'm not.
I am a dancing swirl of dimensions.
All the failures
and all the successes
are my own.
All the insecurities
and all the courage
are interwoven
never separate from one another.
I am made up of a limitless array of elements
that just happen to be perfectly in unison
manifesting themselves in this strange and deviant body; 
a complex fusion of genes and organics
unreplicated and unmatched to anyone on this earth.

My combination is unique.
and so am I
but the most important of all is


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