Thursday, 25 August 2016

How much control do I really have on my happiness?


      Woke up on a Thursday morning today feeling happy and relieved to embrace the weekend and immediately after washing up, I began to remember the tasks for today that I had promised myself yesterday. More often than not, these small tasks which I have a habit of writing down on a notebook or sticky paper, become a burden on my trail of thoughts and get carried on week after week. And sometimes, they get so annoying I actually have to review my tasks and ask myself "what's the worst that could happen if I don't do this one?" The thing I've realized when you're a "thinker
"-if I can call myself this- is that you can easily fall into the trap of thinking so much about something so little that it becomes some extra thing that you tag along in your head until it grows and decomposes on its own. You start telling yourself "why did I put this on my list in the first place?"

      I walk out of the house and stop myself as soon as the cool morning air hits my face. "Yes, this is going to be a good day". Why? Because it's nice out. Sounds crazy to believe that the weather has this huge power over how my day turns out when really most of my day ends up being spent in an office trapped under the air conditioning anyway. That's ridiculous when you actually think of it. Ha! Look at me, I'm at a point that I'm thinking about how I am thinking. Great.

      I get into my car. It needs a cleaning. When will I do that? -the first thing that comes to mind. I then pull up on the main road, see an old lady who looks exhausted from waiting for a taxi, and tell myself alhamdoulillah, I got a car and God gave me the skill to be able to drive it. Isn't that such a blessing?

     I started to think about what exactly it is in my morning that makes me start off right? And how much of it can I control and how much of it is just inevitable? Why does it feel like sometimes no matter what you do or say to yourself, you cannot shake off the feeling of being tired of everything? Then I thought, perhaps our bodies give us this feeling to send us a strong message about self-care. So, what I've started doing is asking myself 3 questions before I decide that I'm upset and need to look further into my psyche to find out:

1. Did I get enough sleep and/or did I get quality sleep?
2. Am I hungry?
3. Did I drink my coffee?

     It sounds humorous now that I've written it down but really most of my problems diminish after I've taken care of my body. Which goes to show how in this work work work driven world, we've become heads full of constant thoughts and endless tasks which are required from us on a tight timelime, that we've fooled ourselves into believing that we are indeed robots who are not in need of any self maintenance. Heck, even robots need a little oiling every now and then!

Have a great day friends!