Pity Party

I will not accept the invite

to your self-proclaimed pity party.

I do not need a moment of silence

and your questionable facial display

to prove just how much

you feel sorry for me.

How do you think I feel

when you scrunch your face 

and say, 

"Oh,

I'm so sorry."

No one wants your apology

and no one wants your privileged advice.

You think I hate myself 

for what has happened to me?

I accept all my flaws

while you cannot fathom

someone living like me

without wishing I was like the rest

No one wants your "accommodation"

No one wants your "special treatment"

My acceptance is not a sad coping style.

My acceptance is my scars on display

My acceptance is my strength.

Although, in some ways 

I do wish I was like the rest

I wish I wasn't invited to your pity parties

I wish you could see past the superficial

and I'm so sorry that you're so sorry.

I'm sorry you think that God 

choosing me to be like this

is a sad punishment.

I'm sorry that people like me 

make you feel uncomfortable.

So thanks but no thanks, 

I don't need the invite to your pity party

because if you haven't noticed,

I'm too busy doing a million other things that define me.

The Stigma Surrounding "Needy" Muslims

I can only say I am frustrated, disappointed and really losing hope in humanity.

When a fellow Muslim brother or sister needs our help, we just seem to be so good and very quick to mistrust and disqualify.

"This must be a scam"
"They can go to the charities and get help"
"The Mosque can take care of them."
"I have my own bills to pay and mouths to feed."
"I gave last week."
"Why are they on the streets?"

     Rather than telling ourselves that these people are our own, or that maybe one day, we might be homeless and in need of a hand, we distance ourselves. We do not only assume we are totally sane and more dignified than the "needy", we dehumanize our own mankind. It is sick and leaves me really sad.

    We tend to automatically trust the middle class, well-dressed people while dismissing others. We mistrust over and over again. Little do we know that the mosques are not always so welcoming and ready to take in everyone. And that those charities might not always recognize everyone in need. And that when you give in charity, it is never a loss. And that when a brother or sister in Islam needs our help, we should be running to do whichever we can because it is ultimately us helping ourselves and giving us a step away from hell-fire.

'Adi bin Hatim (May Allah be pleased with him)reported:
Messenger of Allah (swt) said,
 "Everyone of you will speak to his Rabb without an interpreter between them. He will look to his right side and will see only the deeds he had previously done; he will look to his left and will see only the deeds he had previously done, and he will look in front of him and will see nothing but Fire (of Hell) before his face. So protect yourselves from Fire (of Hell), even by giving half a date- fruit (in charity)".
[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Why have our hearts hardened so much? Why have we become so clouded by privilege that we cannot see that our blessings are not our work, but Allah's. Why don't we see ourselves in our fellow humans?

I'm sorry. This wasn't as positive as I hoped it would be. I'm just really upset.

May Allah always keep our hearts pure and filled with noor and love ameen

The Dos and Don'ts of Friendship

Donts:

1. Abandon a friend during a tough time.

Not cool.

2. Get too attached. 

 Getting attached inevitably results in disappointment. Being in a relationship too long uncovers the faults evident in all of us. Be ready to accept that.

3. Force a friendship when it's not there.

It is Allah who mends hearts and it is also He who separates them. Treat humanity with kindness and expect nothing in return.

4. Carry any expectations.

 The only person you should expect anything from is yourself. But, anything else that comes from people is appreciated.

5. Cut anyone off in conversation.

 Be as the prophet (peace be upon him) who used to never leave a meeting before the other excused himself.

6. Take compliments too seriously.

  Compliments are to be appreciated, never used as validation of the self.

7. Let them go if they challenge and help you grow.

  Friends that challenge you in a positive way are the realest kind.

8. Stick to a "type."

 Be careful of arrogance in your choice of friends and companions

9. Friend the opposite sex.

Unless you want to make a mess.

Dos:

1. Do for them what they would like.

  What you would like is not always what they would.

2. Know that friends won't always be around to save the day.

 Allah gave you the friends you have and He can take them away at anytime. Thank Allah for the time you have together.

3. A real friend is one who makes dua for you in your absence.

 But how can you read anyone's mind?

4. The more diverse your friends are, the better your character probably is.

The types of friends we have reflect the makeup of our social filters. Keep the filters checked and working to let those with good character through, and those with a negative influence away. Judge using caution with what you see and can confirm in the face of your Lord.

5. The friends you spend the most time with reflect a big part of yourself.

There is something driving that connection. And it's in you.

6. Allah > Friends

Friends are from Allah.

7. Family > Friends

Family will unconditionally accept you while friends are temporary. Family is obligation. Friends are what you do in spare time. However, what is right with Allah accepts no social or biological boundaries.

8. Know that your advice is not always needed.

It's not always about the awesome you.

9. Listen more and you'll make a ton of new friends.

Just a little bit of listening will open and teach you more about people you never knew.

10. Being "busy" is just an excuse for not caring enough.

Get the hint. Unless being busy is accompanied by "how about next Jumaa?"


And the biggest Do of them all:

11. Love for the sake of Allah

The best kind of love is one with Allah. Read more here on how to find out if you love someone for the sake of Allah.


What are your Dos and Don'ts?