The Feeling of Meaninglessness

Artwork from a dear sister

      Time is frozen; Irrelevant.

     Words can't seem to bring themselves together to make meaning. Why should it matter anyway?

     Meaninglessness is not limited to the depressed and lazy. Meaninglessness can hit the most motivated and happy people you know. It can be for a few hours or weeks but it doesn't discriminate. All that is common between these moments of meaninglessness is that plaguing feeling of helplessness. Even if you know it's just for a few minutes, life becomes a blur and you lose sight of reality.

     Maybe you're stressed. Or maybe you're avoiding a confrontation or an obligation. But all that you can feel is uselessness right now. You feel time slipping away from you and you can't catch up to it. The present moment is meaningless. So is the next few minutes that are lost in thought...

     But wait, stop yourself for one second. 

     Imagine capturing those irritating thoughts that tell you how lazy and incompetent you are. Okay, now take a look at their composition. They look just like thoughts, right? Maybe bubbles or words or whatever. But, they are only what we perceive them to be.

     Now take a deep breath...

     Collect those thoughts once more and picture a box appearing in a scene of nothingness. Now, take a firm hold on those thoughts and place them one by one in that box. Stack them nicely; for you want to respect their existence. Accept them as having lived and breathed like they were real people.

     Find a key for that box and lock that box shut. Imagine a silent cloud slowly floating to where you are. The cloud is here to take your box. Place the box on that cloud and give it up. Not just to the sky. Give it up higher. Much higher. Give it up to Allah.

     What were these thoughts anyway? You can't seem to remember anymore. All that you know is that you feel like you've lifted a huge boulder off your shoulders. They're in someone else's care. And there's no being out there in existence that can handle them better than Allah. So take it easy and trust.

     These thoughts were floating in your head trying to find purpose. Yet they were only a burden that kept getting heavier with the passing of time. They were tiny products of your own creation; roaming in a head of a single person...

     A single person among many who inhabit a beautiful place called earth.

     The earth is a part of a family of planets, who happen to orbit around a single sun.

     That sun is one of billions. 

     And the space that we conceive is only a single layer of many others. 

     All of which mean no less than a mosquito's wing to Allah.


    

      So how big are those thoughts now?



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Single Muslims Speak: Annoying Things Newly Engaged Couples Do

      Congratulations newly engaged friends!

      Contrary to what you may believe, we are genuinely happy to see you've found the one for you. That being said, you still get annoying. Here's some insight from the single folk on what they would like to say to you but never did.


      Single People Speak: Annoying Things Newly Engaged Couples Do:



1. Flooding their timeline with every pose imaginable- or borderline halal.


2. A picture with their hands on top of one another, displaying their rings.


3. Trying to hitch you. Cause they want you to feel the same way they do. They'll do it at their own wedding if they have to.


4. Flashing that ring and waiting for your face to be very excited.


5. Wearing matching shirts on Facebook. Same shirt, just different pictures.


6. They work out together. The world must know.


7. They wanna interfere with your love life or lacktherof.


8. Posting marriage and "half your deen" quotes on Facebook.


9. Giving you the "one day you'll find a great person" talk.


10. Hashtags #marriagelife or #engagedlife or #inlove .


11. Cropped and photoshopped images of their names together with pictures of roses and chocolates.


12. No more quality girlfriend/bro time.


13. Planning their wedding with you.


14. Facebook knew about your BF's engagement before you did.


15. Your congratulations is met with "hopefully for you too".


16. Quitting schooling to fly off into nowhereland.


17. Asking you for advice on their motherinlaw.


18. Being late for their own engagement.


19. The evil eye is suddenly everywhere.


20. Taking this list too seriously.



:)

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The Clock

A dear sister writes:

The seconds steadily slip away, losing tiny, priceless gifts,

Like the days marked by the sun and the moon exchanging shifts.

"Please stop the time, we desperately need more,"

The clock doesn’t stop, but you’re hoping it’s hands are yours.

Rewind to that day the sun shone on your smile as a child,

Simplicity it was, sun and moon idly rotating as you ran wild,

Now your head sinks in the ocean of the changes you could make,

And your mind rests on the thought of how many risks you should take,

And like the ocean reflects the blood rays of sunset,

Your mind magnifies these thoughts, there’s simply no rest,

Life whispers to me, a spark, I’m amazed at the thought,

Like the burning rays of the sun chastising me, “You forgot,”

So shower me with my mistakes, and let me fall, let me be

A human, a sinner, for one day I hope to be free.



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Captivating Sincerity

Sincerity.

Where to begin describing her?

Haven't you heard?

 Sincerity leaves her subjects speechless.

Pure in form and element.

Validation

or reward

are not notions she understands.

Sincerity stands alone.

She leaves you captivated and in wonder.

Suddenly hope is familiar

and life has renewed meaning.

She has no hidden arrangement

and no foul intentions.

She poses like a secret charity

written solely in His books.

Sincerity leaves you alone with your thoughts

of awe and wonder

and you'll ask;

What are you Sincerity?

The only arrangement she has must be with Him, you think.

How I long to spend a moment exploring

 the mind of the sincere.

 I see Sincerity in you too.

And you often remind me of a tree;

strong roots

and endless branches;

bearing fruit in sacrifice 

to other forms of life.

Regardless of where your fruit end up,

rotting or immersed in the ground to form a new tree,

your roots

stay firm and idle;

connected to the soil that gave you life.

Have you seen the way a tree stands?

Have you noticed the way its branches look up to the sky?

Like arms in supplication and surrender;

 in full knowledge that no matter how high its branches will look down,

it will forever remain frozen in the position of submission to its creator

and me?

I am only left with 

subhanallah 

alhamdoulillah

and Allahu akbar.

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Twenty

A dear sister writes:

     13 years old and I believed I was the only one that suffered throughout 13 years of on going problems. Be it family problems, school problems, bullying, you name it- I went through it. I went from having full faith in God to having almost none. My Iman was on a roller-coaster ride that never seemed to end. In my late teens, things got worse. I got worse. I didn't lose complete faith in God, but I was very close to giving up many, many times. I hated who I was, I hated my family problems, I hated that my grades were lower then my friends, I hated that I felt so useless. I had no idea who I was or who I wanted to be. When I entered University, it didn't change. Nothing changed in my life, other then it seemed more stressful. Family problems were at an all time high, my marks were slipping from my grasp; I was stuck on self-discovery. Alhamdulilah I never "rebelled" or did anything I deeply regret all because of a small strand of hope. A voice, really. Islam was that voice, the light, my light. Yes, there were many times where I felt so low but I always told myself to hang on to the very thin rope of hope. There was always this feeling that told me to keep going, life wasn't ending anytime soon. This light only came when I placed my forehead on to my prayer mat and reconnected with my Creator, my origins.  

     After 20 years of living as a Muslim, I finally realize why is it we pray. I always knew prayer was for repenting, acknowledging, our Lord, The Merciful, All Knowing, All Wise. But today is when I finally know the power of prayer. Life is hard, with the constant detours, with unpaved roads and unfortunate lack of warning signs. We push ourselves so much; it emotionally, physically and mentally hurts. We lose ourselves, find ourselves. Hurt others, hurt ourselves. Test ourselves, and be tested. Life is freakin stressful. Which is why, I think, we pray. Prayer is the biggest stress reliever. Knowing that there is a Listener Who knows exactly what is in your heart, without you whispering a sound. Knows what is in store for you, and knows what is best for you. And personally, I think that is the biggest load off and one of the biggest blessings.

 Like Rumi wrote:


"“My heart is so small


it’s almost invisible.


How can you place 
such big sorrows in it?
"

“Look," He answered,


"your eyes are even smaller,
yet they behold the world.””

I am okay, Alhamdulilah.  We will all be okay, inshaAllah 

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